A list of all the things we’ve discussed.


A Bag For Life – Iggy Pop.
Accordions – Kazzoos
After Eight Mints – Trebor Extra Strong Mints.
Aglets – Eyelets/Lugs.
A Good Cup Of Tea, Ahhh – Herbal Tea With Milk.
A Kitten Yawning – Blaming A Fart On The Dog.
Alcohol – A Cat’s Furball After It’s Eaten Blu Tak.
Aliens – Midwives.
A Kick To The Balls – Dozing In Front Of The Snooker.
Alfred Hitchcock – Kevin Smith.
Almonds – Peaches.
Amazon Prime – Optimus Prime.
American Pancakes – Breakfast Burrito.
Animaniacs – Tiny Toon Adventures.
Antidisestablishmentarianism – Tea.
April Fool’s Day – Slapping Day.


Backgammon – Noughts And Crosses.
Backlog – Preppers.
Baskets – Bird Nests.
Basketball Hoops – Bottom Shelf of a Supermarket.
Batman Returns – Pingu.
Beaver Creek Institution – Norfolk, 800,000 Years Ago.
Binoculars – Binoculars The Other Way Round.
Bitcoin – Currency.
Blankety Blank – Families At War.
Board Games – Going To The Gym.
Branston Pickle – HP Sauce.
Bras – Pop Socks.
Bread – Maltesers.
Bill Murray – Murray Walker’s Commentary Track From The Formula One ’97 Playstation Game.
Brick Hod – Mattock.
Brighton Beach – Sherbert.
Broomsticks – Dyson. (correction: Black Cats)
Blu Tack – Tippex.
Bubble Wrap – Lego Pips.
Burgers – Apples.
Burps – Eating.


Cadbury’s Creme Egg – Used Condom/Chicken Kiev.
Cake Boss – The Great British Bake Off (correction: The Sopranos).
Calippo – Swedish Taste.
Canada – France.
Captions – Post It Notes.
Caramel – Wet Salt.
Cardboard Box – Mansion.
Cement – Slime Fish.
Chameleons – Hypercolor T Shirts.
Cheesecake – Mud Pie.
Chocolate Eclairs – Butterscotch Eclairs.
Chlorine Triflouride – The Queen’s Face.
Clergymen – Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson.
Chocolate Cereal – Marmite On Toast.
Christmas Card – Valentine’s Card.
Christmas Elves – BAE.
Christmas Pudding – The Banking Collapse Of 2008.
Chupa Chups – Boiled Gumshields.
Cliffhanger – Last Of The Summer Wine.
Cling Film – Aluminium Foil.
Clutch – Clam.
Crab Nebula – Milky Way Bar.
Cream Tea – Cucumber Finger Sandwiches.
Cruithne – The Other Krankie.
Cobwebs – Slime Fish Slime.
Coffee – Horlicks.
Coleslaw – Alpen.
Columbo – Inspector Gadget.
Conditioner – A Mid-Life Crisis.
Condoms – Riding A Helmet Without A Motorbike On (To Be Continued).
Crocodiles – Popcorn, But Very Specifically Cinema Popcorn.

Curtains – Wikipedia.
Cyril Sneer – Fangs A Lot Fiendish Feet.


Davros – Jeremy Corbyn.
Decapitation – Hanging.
December – Ramadan.
Deep Fried Battenberg Cake – Parsley.
Deerstalker – Rupert Bear’s Trousers.
Didgeridoos – Straws.
Die Hard – Easy Living.
Disgruntlement – Hygge.
Doctor Who – Han Solo Frozen In Carbonite.
Dog Food – Cat Food.
Dominoes – Jenga.
Dreaming – Pins & Needles.
Drivethroughs – Chefs.
Drugs – Gold.


Ear Worms – French Vocab Test.
Easter Eggs – Mince Pies.
Ed Miliband’s Shoes – Russell Crowe’s Jockstrap.
Eggs Benedict – Buckfast Tonic Water.
Egg Whisk – Wet Celery.
Elephant – Mouse.
Espresso – Night Caps.
Eurovision Song Contest – Second World War.
Exclamation Mark – A Lower Case I.


Farts – Making Balloon Animals.
Fidget Spinners – Hamster Hand Escalators.
Film Directors – Daytime TV Presenters.
Fish Fingers – L Ron Hubbard’s Clam Chowder.
Flag – Petard.
Flip Flops – Visors.
Fluffy Bunnies – Bowling Balls.
Fluffy Cat Bellies – Pin Art.
Friday 13th – Christmas Day (Movie).
Frigate – Tug.
Frigate Bird – Whitesnake.
Fruit Pastilles – Jolly Ranchers.
Fur Coat – Towelling Dressing Gown.


Garbage – Chocolate Cheesecake.
Garbage Pail Kids – The Munch Bunch.
Gary Oldman – John Hurt.
Ghosts – Zombies.
Glamping – A Night With Keith Moon.
Goats – Trolls.
Goblins – Sprites.
Goldfish – Swinger’s Car Keys.
Golf – Tossing The Caber.
Grated Cheese – Grated Carrot.
Grand Theft Auto – Sylvanian Families.
Grand Theft Auto 3 – Dixit.
Gravity – Suction.


Hair Follicle – Pin Cushion.
Halo – Rubber Plastic Face Applied Plunger.
Handbags – A Bag Of Hands.
Handwash – Mud.
Harry Potter (franchise) – Calvin & Hobbes.
Head Slapping – A Cup Of Beans.
Health & Safety – Office Birthdays.
Heinz Chicken Noodle Soup – Dry Chicken Sandwich.
Helen – Nelly.
Hessian Sack – Very Cheap Plastic Bag.
Hogwash – Sheep Dip.
Hokey Cokey – Funerals.
Home Town – Layby.
Hotdogs – A Hot Kitkat.
Hotmail – Snapchat.


Indiana Jones – Tony Robinson.
Inflatable Boxing Gloves – Knuckledusters.
Instagram – Radio Four.
International Space Station – Sedgemoor Services.
Ironing Board – Deckchair.
Island – Pond.


James Bond – Michael Palin.
Jigsaw Puzzles – Carcassonne.
Jiu Jitsu – Jousting.
Jogging – Masturbation.
John McClane – The Terminator.
Jugs – Glasses.


Kerfuffle – Easy Peasy Lemon Squeezy.
Kerplunk – Decimation.
Kleenex – Andrex.


Lara Croft – Indiana Jones.
Large Hadron Collider – Giant Floating Toblerone.
Ladybirds – Dung Beetles.
Lego – Knex.
Legs – Wheels.
Lens Wipes – A Live Mole.
Lettuce – Popeye.
Lotion – Dulux Paint.
Low Rent Sceptic Tank – A Truck That Delivers Savlon On The Motorway.
Lunch Boxes – Cornish Pasties.
Lymsewold – Diamonds.


Margaret Thatcher – Clement Atlee.
Marmalade Sandwiches – A Pot Of Honey.
Mixed Martial Arts (MMA) – Stop Sign.
Morris Dancing – Breakdancing.
Moon – Sun.
Muesli – Full English Breakfast.
Mouth ulcers – Kissing.
Museums – Shops.


1990s – Prince.
Nickel – Wooden Poker Chips.
Neo – Paddington.
Netflix – Blockbuster Video.
Newspapers – Status Quo.
New Year Resolutions – Being A Man.
Nostalgia – The Cringe Monkey.
Nutella – Hummus.
Nutritional Labelling – Cigarette Health Warnings.


Orange – Parma Violet.


Pancake Day – National Tortilla Chip Day.
Pandora – Eve.
Paper Jam – Cardboard Marmalade.
Peas – Pete Best.
Penguins – Bourbons.
Penguins – Mallards.
Petrichor – Stale Smoke On Clothes.
Pigs In Blankets – Pigs In Blankets.
Pikachu – Atishoo.
Pizza – Cheese And Tomato Sandwich.
Placemats – Seat Cushions.
PMQs – Springwatch.
Pop Quiz – Jitsu Grading.
Potato Salad – Twiglets.
Pot Noodle – Souffle.
Pouting – Old Man Face Done By Kids In Plays.
Power Of The Damager – Unbreakable.
Pulp Fiction – Mama Mia!.
Putting Your Foot In It – Handing It To Someone.
Pyjamas – Hot Summer Nights.


Quality Street – Tin Under Isiz’s Dad’s Coffee Table In The 1990s.
Quiz – MOT.


Rhyming Slang – Out Loud Txt Spk.
Ricki Lake – Jerry Springer.
Riker Sitting Down – President Bartlet Putting On A Jacket.
Robin Hood – Monopoly.
Robocop – Shaft.
Robosaurus – Sindy’s Nursing Hospital.
Rolos – Polos.
Rubik’s Cube – Cigarettes.


7-Eleven – 8th November.
Seance – Beyonce.
Seinfeld – Real Housewives Of New York..
setisoppO – The Same.
Sewing Machines – Your Inner Critic.
Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band – The Twang Of A Shatter 6 Resistant 7 Ruler At About 11cm.
Shatner – Grapes.
Sheepskin Bottle – Concrete Boots.
Shoes – Clark’s Foot Gauge.
Shopping Trolleys – Shark Cages.
Shrubbery – Rockery.
Simon – Simone.
Singing – Dancing.
Skin – Clothing.
Snarf – Eartha Kitt.
Sneezing – Pepper.
Sooty – Penn Jillette.
Spartacus – Cardinal Richelieu.
Sprinkles – Jam/Marmalade.
Sprouts – Grapes.
Star Trek – Star Wars.
Stay Puft Marshmallow Man (Backend Only) – Mr Soft (Front End Only).
St Helen’s Fort – Fort Boyard.
Stickers – Bird Poo.
Swearing – Prayer.
Sweatbands – Fascinators.
Sweaters – String Vests.


Tadpoles – Virgin Cabin Crew.
Taekwondo – Brazilian Jiu Jitsu.
Tattoo – Penis Burning Mint Body Wash.
Thank You – Please Me.
Theatre – Nothing, Maths, Everything.
Tap Dancing (Rhythm) – Being Roundly Spanked.
The Good Life – Bad Boys 2.
The Incredible Hulk – Luna Lovegood.
The Matrix – Paddington.
The Muppet Christmas Carol – Meet The Feebles.
The Smurfs – The Simpsons.
Thundercats – Mouse Trap!.
Tinsel – Curtains.
Tintin – Asterix.
Tissues – Pummice Stones.
Toenails – Post-It Notes.
Tomato Ketchup – Yoghurt.
Tom Hanks Peeing – Dame Judi Dench On A Motorbike.
Tongues – Nasal Cavities. (correction: Bums)
Tongue Piercings – Picking Your Nose.
Tonsillitis – Love Eggs.
Tortoise – Hare.
Train Whistle – Truck Peep.
Trampoline – Deep Wishing Well.
Trophy – Prize.
Trunks – Tigger.
Trunks (Elephant) – Voldemort’s Face.
Turning 30 – 5 Seconds Before Orgasm.
Turnips – The Cabbage Patch Kids.
Tweezers – The Chuckle Brothers.


UFOs – Hot Air Balloons.
Up Yours – Up Yours.


Vanilla – Chilli.
Velociraptor – Chicken McNuggets.
Veronica Mars – Venus Williams.
Vick’s VapoRub – Philadelphia Cheese.
Viking Longship – Jet Ski.
VW Beetle – Sir Killalot.


Wallop – The Sound Of A Man Coming.
Water Balloons – Goldfish At The Fair.
Wednesday – Stoke.
Well Worn International Trade Routes – Base Camps, Wherever They May Be.
WD40 – Spongebob Squarepants.
Wheelbarrow – Land Surfer.
Wiiiickes – Diiiickes.
Whip Scorpions – Teddy Bears.
Woodpeckers – Cement Mixers.
Woodwork – Making Charcoal.
Worf – Deanna Troi.
World Cup – US Presidential Election.


Yawning – Holding In A Fart.
Your Mum – Who’s Your Daddy?


Zebra Crossings – Lollipop Ladies