Would a red panda ever curse a space shuttle? Less importantly, what’s the opposite of these three random things? Don’t share, and definitely don’t enjoy.

Time’s a ticking, the ice is melting in the frozen daiquiri, and the telephone just won’t stop ringing. It’s time to forget all that, and instead work out the exact opposite. Don’t share, and certainly do not enjoy.

Have you ever been tractor fishing in the bath? Or course not, that would be daft. As would trying to figure out the opposite of those things. A pointless folly. So don’t listen, don’t share, and certainly don’t enjoy.

This week we work out the opposite of a robin, of raisins, and of shadow puppets. Don’t share, and don’t enjoy.

Could you summon an orangutan by clicking your fingers, and then feed it Revels? We wouldn’t recommend it, so instead we suggest you listen to us working out the opposite of those things. Don’t share, and certainly don’t enjoy.

Could a squirrel live in a hedge eating just Dreamies? Who knows? Who cares? We’re here to work out the opposite of those things. Don’t share. Don’t enjoy.

Apologies for our lack of attendance recently, we’ve got a note from our Dad. But we’re back now, working out the opposite of a Topic, the opposite of a sitcom, and the opposite of a belt. Don’t share. Don’t enjoy.

Big Brother is watching. So hide all your cockneys, and brush your teeth. What? No, let’s just work out the opposite of those three things instead. Do not share, and certainly do not enjoy.

It’s a sunny day. You’re idly checking your email as you sup on a cool Gin and Tonic, with a purring cat sat on your lap. But what’s the opposite of all that? Don’t share, don’t enjoy.

Which would you rather eat on The Tube? A Lancashire Hot Pot or some French Fries? More importantly, what’s the opposite of all those things? Well, that’s what we’re here to find out. Don’t share. Don’t enjoy.