Never eat a biscuit while riding a motorbike to a salad bar. Instead, work out the opposite of those three things, and talk bollocks about them for twenty minutes. Don’t share. Don’t enjoy.

Bowled out for one whilst eating a Snickers. It’s a terrible way to go in Cricket, but at least it tastes nice. Which is more than can be said for the opposite of all that. But what is the opposite...

Pop a pill, turn your ankle, and stare at a big cat. Or, just work out the opposite of a cobblestone, of Viagra, and of a tiger. Upto you. Don’t share. Don’t enjoy.

If Mario looks at his reflection in a glass, is what looks back at him a Spitting Image of himself? I mean, there’s no way of knowing, so instead we work out the opposite of those things. Don’t share. Don’t...

Sitting in the car, sucking on a slice of frozen banana, dreaming one day of winning a gold medal. Alas, they don’t give out gold medals for working out the opposite of things that don’t have a natural opposite. Don’t...

Could capturing a puffin be an Olympic sport? I mean, that’s a stupid question, but it’s no more stupid than working out the opposite of things that don’t have a natural opposite. Don’t share. Don’t enjoy.

What better way to spend your sunny summer’s day than to chug back an Irn-Bru, with a Corndog and some cucumber, and wash it all down with some nasal spray? No. Let’s do the opposite of that instead then. Don’t...

Let’s sit on the stairs near a phone box, wearing our best stripey tops, and talk of the time we worked out the opposite of all those things. Don’t share. Don’t enjoy.

Can you eat cat food on Saturn whilst reading a dictionary? Who knows? We certainly don’t. But we CAN work out the opposite of those things if you like. Don’t share, and don’t enjoy.

What if the mail carrier was delivering you some jelly, but dropped it all over your grass? That would be a nightmare. Don’t mail jelly. Instead, join us in working out the opposite of those things. Don’t share, and certainly...