Could capturing a puffin be an Olympic sport? I mean, that’s a stupid question, but it’s no more stupid than working out the opposite of things that don’t have a natural opposite. Don’t share. Don’t enjoy.

What better way to spend your sunny summer’s day than to chug back an Irn-Bru, with a Corndog and some cucumber, and wash it all down with some nasal spray? No. Let’s do the opposite of that instead then. Don’t...

Let’s sit on the stairs near a phone box, wearing our best stripey tops, and talk of the time we worked out the opposite of all those things. Don’t share. Don’t enjoy.

Can you eat cat food on Saturn whilst reading a dictionary? Who knows? We certainly don’t. But we CAN work out the opposite of those things if you like. Don’t share, and don’t enjoy.

What if the mail carrier was delivering you some jelly, but dropped it all over your grass? That would be a nightmare. Don’t mail jelly. Instead, join us in working out the opposite of those things. Don’t share, and certainly...

Would a witch eat a Ginger Nut in June? Well, that’s a question for another podcast, because it’s our task to work out the opposite of those things. Don’t share. Don’t enjoy.

An eclectic mix this week, as we work out the opposite of a coat hanger, the opposite of a pangolin, and the opposite of Ibuprofen. Don’t share, and don’t enjoy.

Don’t cry into your beer, look there’s a delightful Quokka over there smiling at us. What a way to spend the day as we work out the opposite of all those things. Don’t share this.

Slip your biro in your shirt pocket, put your deely boppers on nice and straight, then clamber on to your space hopper and bounce on down to the funkiest podcast about opposites in town.

Which is more deadly? A USB stick? The Death Star? Or nail clippers? There’s no way of knowing, so instead we just work out the opposite of those things. It’s more fun anyway. Don’t share.